To love...

To love is a gift. To love is to create. God is pure love, He is the creator. Love can change even the hardest of hearts. I do not believe in making an effort to convert anyone, one cannot be converted by desiring it. But perhaps I should be making an effort to become the kind of person, who by temperament alone, unconsciously converts those around her. Alas, I am no saint. I do not even come close to sainthood. Perhaps my continued stay on this island will inevitably bring me closer to God?

The parrots make such a racket some days, I lose patience and yell at them. Even the monkeys get on my nerves from time to time. But they are only parrots and monkeys, doing their thing.

I pray for patience. Impatience destroys.

I need to pray more. Period.

El Alejandro

I have met yet another strange character on this island. He appears to be a wanna-be greek warrior, yet he has given himself (or was given) a Spanish name. The other day I sat for hours with him in front of my hut, listening to battle strategies and learning all about Greek heroes and legends. His name is El Alejandro. He is an interesting character to say the least, even though what he talks about (for someone not impassioned on the subject like myself) is rather repetitive and I found myself drifting off and thinking about other things as he explained the advantages of one type of weapon over another.

El Alejandro is a rather handsome dude, even if he is a bit dark for an ancient greek. But I imagine that even back then, there were dark greeks even if they prefered blond. El Alejandro wears armour and carries a sword. He wore a laurel wreath around his head the other day. He is very passionate about war and battles but he has not yet enlightened me on the finer points of greek society or philosophy. Perhaps we might talk about these things the next time? Or perhaps he is too busy conquering other lands to even learn much about philosophy.

Gollum

Sitting here, alone on my island, I have plenty of time to think. I think Gollum would have liked to be like everyone in the upper-middle class. At some point, he found out that all he really wanted was to have a very good salary, a nice (big) house, not more than two children and wife who worked and also made lots of money. I think he resents not having this "ideal" of society, another thing which makes him bitter. Unfortunately, this is something Gollum can never have, or at the very least he will have to wait a few years before he comes close.

Ahh, the burden that weighs him down gets heavier as the years go by. It is a horrible thing to carry, yet he cannot let it go. It consumes him.

I , on the other hand, do not need material riches. I could live simply and with little, as long as I am surrounded by friends, for as long as I live. Which is why I do not mind my island so much, only the solitude sometimes. Gollum cannot understand this in me and it irks him. But I am my own person, I do not need another person's approval

The desert isle, blessed solitude

The wind blows through my hair, which has grown longer since I have been here, and I am reminded of a old photo of my mother, long hair blowing in the breeze, surrounded by children. Here, though, there are no children, instead I am surrounded by monkeys, jumping and chattering in the trees.

Sometimes it is just easier to get things done by yourself, on your own. Sometimes it is worthwhile to not include reluctant people in your plans, no matter how important they may be to you, however important it might seem for them to be with you, just to avoid conflict and stress. I have begun to purge Gollum from certain areas of my life. Gollum is a strange mix. He desires good, but does not know what good is. He can be patient and generous with many things and then suddenly turn around and crush me.

Gollum was once a happy, innocent lad and then something happened to him. He carries a great load, it eats at him, it makes him very bitter towards certain people, places and things. I have learned to avoid certain subjects of conversation around him. I have learned to hide certain things. I have learned to avoid going to certain places with him. I must now learn to leave him out of certain projects as well.

Gollum mostly stays in his cave near the water's edge when he comes and does not visit much of my island, he would not understand it. On my island, I am free to talk of the things I wish to speak about, do the things I wish to accomplish, visit the places I want to see.

The monkeys do not seem to appreciate my presence here, so close to their home. This is their territory, I should return to mine, my humble beach hut. Or maybe I shall go take a short dip in the hotsprings just a few minutes walk from here?